Poster Child

Very busy this week with ASK testing, but I still manage to have time to write a paragraph or two. I went to dinner last night with Lisa to this place El Centro in Hell's Kitchen and there was this rather large couple sitting there dissecting the menu, atmosphere, and general restaurant-ness of the place. Now, this is all well and good to do quietly with the other members of your party, but when you are in a tight restaurant and you have people sitting about a foot away from you saying "Well, the guacamole was good but I can make a much better batch in my kitchen for less than seven dollars..." It kind of makes you hostile enough to say "Hey Wolfgang, why don't you go to your kitchen then and let me enjoy my seven dollhair guacamole!" It really can ruin the meal. They went on to order a "strawberry margarita WITHOUT THE ALCOHOL" (and they stressed "WITHOUT THE ALCOHOL") and then proceeded to discuss their decision for an alcohol-less evening. Thoroughly irritating people.
I think small restaurants are not for me anyhow. Being the clumsy girl I am, I need a restaurant where I can manuever through the tables. I don't want to have to worry about spilling my sake and chambord martini on some jerks LV bag and getting snarly comments in return (Eatery) or duking it out with some chick on the coat check line because she's first yet standing far, far away from the coat check area (Aspen... not impressed, btw.) Yikes, I am so hostile.
It's also very bad for me to go to a small, crowded restaurant because I am generally distractable. I tend to look around a lot (usually at people's attire) and therefore, a small, crowded restaurant gives me a lot to look at and a ton of distraction. I ton, I tell you! Then I get all involved in the antics of other people, and their conversations and I wind up saying something like "Oh my god, I have something to tell you... when we leave" and my poor companion has to sit there thinking "What could she possibly have to tell me that she can't say around these perfect strangers?" (Aaaah, Perfect Strangers. Love that Balki Bartakamoose... not so much on the Surreal Life, however- Creepy Creeperson.) Such was the case last evening when two lovely men sauntered into the restaurant and announced to the waitress that they had just seen John Rhys Meyers on the corner. I had read that JRM was seen at El Centro in the past few weeks, and that was another reason for my interest in the place (Lisa- Guy from Match Point, Alexander, Played Elvis in Elvis...) Because I am sickly obsessed with celebs of any alphabet level. Alas, JRM was not at El Centro last night, but I was of course up in other people's convos and behaving badly- yet another small restaurant no-no. I think I am going to eat my next meal out at Popeyes. Lots of room, easy on the eyes, no guacamole to complain about, and yet always some freakshow to look at.