Yesterday...
Yesterday was a particularly heinous day. It was going okay until I started yet another session of texting diarrhea with "Directionless" around 1 o'clock to which I was yet again rejected when inquiring about plans. For a boy who works nights, someone is mad busy. I wonder what his other GF Church feels about this. (Disclaimer- I know that I need to get rid of this boy. Please don't remind me. Ali and Lisa are out of town and I need something occupy my time. Maybe next week?!?!)
Redirecting- My lunch was super fantastic yesterday. MGM brought in an Italian Feast consisting of cavatelli, brocoli rabe, and sausage, and a lovely loaf of semolina bread that, in true ghetto-fashion, she warmed on her classroom heater. I love my school friends. I literally ate for an hour straight. After the cavatelli, we had strawberries with Easter candy chocolate chasers (to simulate chocolate-covered strawberries.) I left the Resource Room, my favorite place to binge eat, with that wonderful feeling of nausea that you can only understand if you hang out with Italian women almost twice your age who are trying to fatten you up and live vicariously through you at the same time.
Aaaanyway, afterschool I went to the bank, then I went and got my eyebrows waxed- here in where the problem lies. I had to wait about 10 minutes for the women to finish talking about me and the other clients, and then when I laid down on the skevatz waxing bed, the women said to me "Oooh, only eyebrow???" WHAT THE EFF DOES THAT MEAN? I am not a hairy person. I can go weeks without shaving my legs (alright, not weeks, but I tend to push it a little.) I am blond and fair skinned. I am not hairy. Now this crazy woman (who made me wait, and I hate waiting) wants me to starting waxing my mustache? OMG, DO I HAVE A MUSTACHE??? Please tell me if you think I do. What's next, should I wax my chin or shave my non-existent hair arms like foolish 18 year old NJ girls sometimes think is a good idea until it starts growing back and catching on your sweater? Is that what I should do? Clearly this woman struck a chord with me and made me think about my folicle situation. And added to my bad mood.
I went through with the eyebrow waxing only, and left the nail salon. The eyebrows looked good so I was willing to look past said waxist's blunder. I then went to the gym. I started physical therapy on Tuesday for the shoulder (I knew there was something wrong with them. No woman's shoulders should be so large!) and I was/am really sore. I have continued going to the gym my usual 2 hours even with the therapy because I am crazy and need to get out of my house. This gym time prevents me from getting the impulse to quit my job, run off to West Hollywood, and give up all I have to travel the U.S. with Jonathan in hopes that I can one day be a stylist at Jonathan Salon and be on Blow Out. Wow, my crazy just creeped out a little. Sorry.
My Orthopaedic told me to tell the instructors that I can't do any upper-body when I go to the gym. I generally say "I just started physical therapy but don't worry about me because I will just modify." This did not bode well with the Wednesday evening Kickboxing instructor. She basically told me that I need to punch with my right arm the whole time or go home. I should have said "See how it works is, the arm is connected to the shoulder. And my shoulders hurt. So I will just survive in the back and you can't back the eff up..." but then I might have had to fight the Kickboxing teacher which would have probably been a pretty bad situation considering she teaches how to box and I teach long division. I suffered through the class and got stuck doing sit-ups with a 60 year old woman when the instructor said she was "Pairing us up by ability." Thanks.
Then I went tanning. Yes, I know this is stupid and horrible for my body but I am seriously pastey and it's getting warm outside. All my friends are olive-skinned Italians or went somewhere for February Break. I need to catch up so I am not so translucent or the thing when someone sees us and sings "One of these things is not like the other." I hate going to my local Hollywood Tans because I generally run into someone I know. I am not going to the Prom. I am not going anywhere but DC for Spring Break. I have no reason to tan but my own personal vanity. Yes, I am so vain. I walk into HT at approximately 7:30 pm and there is a wicked line. The ever-so-orange navel-bearing girl behind the counter tells me there is at least a ten minute wait. I walk over to the side to peruse the tanning lotions and see what hemp in tanning lotion actually does to help the tanning process, and I notice 2 people who are extremely out of place. A 60 year old woman and her daughter-My sister-in-law's mother and sister!!! I had to get out. I felt a wretched, shallow conversation on the horizon, a conversation that I just wasn't willing to have after yesterday's debacles. I walked to the counter and told the girl that I would be back in an hour. And I ran for my life...
So today is already better. I have already received multiple comments on my hair, make-up, and outfit from students and colleagues alike. No one has commented on my mustache yet, and I haven't run into any people that I don't feel like talking to (I did,however, see my hot Bergen County Cop Dunkin Donuts Crush this morning... yum.) We are having a going away party at lunch for a Maternity leave which will inevitably involve cake, and I love cake. Then I am going to Cheeseburger in Paradise (whatever that is?!?!?) for Happy Hour with Directionless and his clean feet, and the CP Teaching Staff again. I love how I have been imported from RP to attend other district's Happy Hours. In the words of Ali, "I am a hot commodity." The last Happy Hour with CP left me hung over and asking myself "What the hell happenened last night?" (as opposed to "Where are my shoes?"- the question I used to ask myself in the morning when I was 20-25.) Should be something. I'll keep you posted. Have a great Holy Thursday!
Redirecting- My lunch was super fantastic yesterday. MGM brought in an Italian Feast consisting of cavatelli, brocoli rabe, and sausage, and a lovely loaf of semolina bread that, in true ghetto-fashion, she warmed on her classroom heater. I love my school friends. I literally ate for an hour straight. After the cavatelli, we had strawberries with Easter candy chocolate chasers (to simulate chocolate-covered strawberries.) I left the Resource Room, my favorite place to binge eat, with that wonderful feeling of nausea that you can only understand if you hang out with Italian women almost twice your age who are trying to fatten you up and live vicariously through you at the same time.
Aaaanyway, afterschool I went to the bank, then I went and got my eyebrows waxed- here in where the problem lies. I had to wait about 10 minutes for the women to finish talking about me and the other clients, and then when I laid down on the skevatz waxing bed, the women said to me "Oooh, only eyebrow???" WHAT THE EFF DOES THAT MEAN? I am not a hairy person. I can go weeks without shaving my legs (alright, not weeks, but I tend to push it a little.) I am blond and fair skinned. I am not hairy. Now this crazy woman (who made me wait, and I hate waiting) wants me to starting waxing my mustache? OMG, DO I HAVE A MUSTACHE??? Please tell me if you think I do. What's next, should I wax my chin or shave my non-existent hair arms like foolish 18 year old NJ girls sometimes think is a good idea until it starts growing back and catching on your sweater? Is that what I should do? Clearly this woman struck a chord with me and made me think about my folicle situation. And added to my bad mood.
I went through with the eyebrow waxing only, and left the nail salon. The eyebrows looked good so I was willing to look past said waxist's blunder. I then went to the gym. I started physical therapy on Tuesday for the shoulder (I knew there was something wrong with them. No woman's shoulders should be so large!) and I was/am really sore. I have continued going to the gym my usual 2 hours even with the therapy because I am crazy and need to get out of my house. This gym time prevents me from getting the impulse to quit my job, run off to West Hollywood, and give up all I have to travel the U.S. with Jonathan in hopes that I can one day be a stylist at Jonathan Salon and be on Blow Out. Wow, my crazy just creeped out a little. Sorry.
My Orthopaedic told me to tell the instructors that I can't do any upper-body when I go to the gym. I generally say "I just started physical therapy but don't worry about me because I will just modify." This did not bode well with the Wednesday evening Kickboxing instructor. She basically told me that I need to punch with my right arm the whole time or go home. I should have said "See how it works is, the arm is connected to the shoulder. And my shoulders hurt. So I will just survive in the back and you can't back the eff up..." but then I might have had to fight the Kickboxing teacher which would have probably been a pretty bad situation considering she teaches how to box and I teach long division. I suffered through the class and got stuck doing sit-ups with a 60 year old woman when the instructor said she was "Pairing us up by ability." Thanks.
Then I went tanning. Yes, I know this is stupid and horrible for my body but I am seriously pastey and it's getting warm outside. All my friends are olive-skinned Italians or went somewhere for February Break. I need to catch up so I am not so translucent or the thing when someone sees us and sings "One of these things is not like the other." I hate going to my local Hollywood Tans because I generally run into someone I know. I am not going to the Prom. I am not going anywhere but DC for Spring Break. I have no reason to tan but my own personal vanity. Yes, I am so vain. I walk into HT at approximately 7:30 pm and there is a wicked line. The ever-so-orange navel-bearing girl behind the counter tells me there is at least a ten minute wait. I walk over to the side to peruse the tanning lotions and see what hemp in tanning lotion actually does to help the tanning process, and I notice 2 people who are extremely out of place. A 60 year old woman and her daughter-My sister-in-law's mother and sister!!! I had to get out. I felt a wretched, shallow conversation on the horizon, a conversation that I just wasn't willing to have after yesterday's debacles. I walked to the counter and told the girl that I would be back in an hour. And I ran for my life...
So today is already better. I have already received multiple comments on my hair, make-up, and outfit from students and colleagues alike. No one has commented on my mustache yet, and I haven't run into any people that I don't feel like talking to (I did,however, see my hot Bergen County Cop Dunkin Donuts Crush this morning... yum.) We are having a going away party at lunch for a Maternity leave which will inevitably involve cake, and I love cake. Then I am going to Cheeseburger in Paradise (whatever that is?!?!?) for Happy Hour with Directionless and his clean feet, and the CP Teaching Staff again. I love how I have been imported from RP to attend other district's Happy Hours. In the words of Ali, "I am a hot commodity." The last Happy Hour with CP left me hung over and asking myself "What the hell happenened last night?" (as opposed to "Where are my shoes?"- the question I used to ask myself in the morning when I was 20-25.) Should be something. I'll keep you posted. Have a great Holy Thursday!
posted by j-digs at 5:41 AM
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