All thumbs...
This weekend was clearly one of the funniest weekends of my life. I must first thank my mom and Ali for making this weekend an enjoyable one. Oh, and the country of Germany, the person who invented cheese dogs,and Bergen County women over the age of 40. All this will be explained, no need to worry.
Chapter One- Fun Friday with Mom
I decided it would be a nice idea to take my mom out to get her toes done last Friday after school. We went to the new fancy salon and my mom thoroughly enjoyed being spoiled. She then mentioned that we should go out to dinner and, since I had no plans but to go watch a Rutgers game (iww...) I accepted. We went to our favorite Italian restaurant and decided to bring 1 1/2 bottles of wine- in a fancy wine cooler contraption. I guess we looked like serious wine coinsurers because the hostess laughed at us and asked "Which one of you is driving?" Yeah, kind of weird being hammered with your mom at a restaurant on a Friday night. We went home and drank another bottle of wine and some Amaretto. That's when my mom got the bright idea to go out to the Coach and get more alcohol. I wound up standing outside fiddling with the key for a good 15 minutes- so long that I had to go back inside to get my coat because I was cold. My mom stated that if it took us 15 minutes to open the Coach to get alcohol we probably didn't need anymore alcohol.
Chapter Two- Oktoberfest
I woke up Saturday morning with a blazing wine hangover. I was supposed to do a lot things on Saturday. I was supposed to go to my student's soccer game. I was supposed to go to a wine festival. I was supposed to go to Bosland's and buy October decorations for my classroom. I did none of these things. I merely called up Ali and convinced her to come up to go to another bachanalian event- the Bear Mt. Oktoberfest. We got there at about 1 pm and had some lovely German fare. Although nothing beats my mom's potato balls, the sauerbraten was decent and the beer, delectable. Ali and I consumed a good two or three beers when we decided to sit down and listen to the German band- The Schwartzenegger Connection. I always thought The Terminator was Austrian? Perhaps that was a myth? Ali and I watched several children spinnig around until they fell down on the dance floor, and witnessed a contest where drunk people played an instrument made out of a hose and the mouthpiece of a trumpet. As we sat, we suddenly noticed the presence of another person. A man, we'll call him Dennis, sat down next to Ali. Here's how the conversation went down...
Dennis: Hey girls! Umm... do you have any rolling paper?
Ali: NO! Do we look like the kind of people who would have rolling paper?
Dennis: I don't know but it was worth a shot..
In the meantime, I start texting.
Dennis: What is she doing?
Ali: She's texting. We are children of the Digital Age.
Dennis: So I guess that would make me digitally handicapped
At this point, he shows us his right hand and HE IS MISSING HIS THUMB!!!
At this point I was fighting the urge to pee my pants so I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I left wondering how he would roll anything with only one thumb? Something to think about.
Ali and I proceeded to go home- of course having a Sing-Along to Rent and Wicked tunes (and randomly "The Promise" by When In Rome.) We did a quick shoppy-shop and made plans to go to Blend later that night.
Chapter Three- Tight Cars, Old Biddies, and Cheese Dogs
We went to New Guy's house and had a few more beers. Ali was oversharing and everyone got along swimmingly. We then decided that it would be safe to pile 6 people into an Infinity G35 and drive 5 miles to the bar- Blend. I hate sitting on people's laps. I don't have small feet. I am not short or small in any way and sitting on laps is always a mess. I had to do it twice that night. Lucky me, lucky me, look at what I'm swimming in, Little Cars. (Ooh, defunct Annie reference. Love it!) Blend was hysterical. I don't think I've seen that many drunk people over the age of 40 since I was at the Headliner in Belmar on a Sunday afternoon with Andrea to pick up her paycheck. Everywhere I looked I saw arms in the air and disregard for rhythm. It was great. Literally one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. Ali celery stalked a kid named Matt- that she incidently called Mark all night. We came back to New Guy's house, made cheese dogs and played football in the house, and passed out.
So needless to say, this weekend was funny. At one point I found New Guy at a table speaking Spanish with people he didn't know as if they were all old friends. At another point Ali threw up over New Guy's deck railing as he made her cheese dogs. He tried to pat her on the back and she said "Stop it." Seriously, it was all too funny. Reminds me of Ali and I in our hey-day right after I graduated from college- except I could find my shoes this time and we weren't in Pennsylvania.
This weekend we are going to AC in honor of Ali's birthday. I love October.
Chapter One- Fun Friday with Mom
I decided it would be a nice idea to take my mom out to get her toes done last Friday after school. We went to the new fancy salon and my mom thoroughly enjoyed being spoiled. She then mentioned that we should go out to dinner and, since I had no plans but to go watch a Rutgers game (iww...) I accepted. We went to our favorite Italian restaurant and decided to bring 1 1/2 bottles of wine- in a fancy wine cooler contraption. I guess we looked like serious wine coinsurers because the hostess laughed at us and asked "Which one of you is driving?" Yeah, kind of weird being hammered with your mom at a restaurant on a Friday night. We went home and drank another bottle of wine and some Amaretto. That's when my mom got the bright idea to go out to the Coach and get more alcohol. I wound up standing outside fiddling with the key for a good 15 minutes- so long that I had to go back inside to get my coat because I was cold. My mom stated that if it took us 15 minutes to open the Coach to get alcohol we probably didn't need anymore alcohol.
Chapter Two- Oktoberfest
I woke up Saturday morning with a blazing wine hangover. I was supposed to do a lot things on Saturday. I was supposed to go to my student's soccer game. I was supposed to go to a wine festival. I was supposed to go to Bosland's and buy October decorations for my classroom. I did none of these things. I merely called up Ali and convinced her to come up to go to another bachanalian event- the Bear Mt. Oktoberfest. We got there at about 1 pm and had some lovely German fare. Although nothing beats my mom's potato balls, the sauerbraten was decent and the beer, delectable. Ali and I consumed a good two or three beers when we decided to sit down and listen to the German band- The Schwartzenegger Connection. I always thought The Terminator was Austrian? Perhaps that was a myth? Ali and I watched several children spinnig around until they fell down on the dance floor, and witnessed a contest where drunk people played an instrument made out of a hose and the mouthpiece of a trumpet. As we sat, we suddenly noticed the presence of another person. A man, we'll call him Dennis, sat down next to Ali. Here's how the conversation went down...
Dennis: Hey girls! Umm... do you have any rolling paper?
Ali: NO! Do we look like the kind of people who would have rolling paper?
Dennis: I don't know but it was worth a shot..
In the meantime, I start texting.
Dennis: What is she doing?
Ali: She's texting. We are children of the Digital Age.
Dennis: So I guess that would make me digitally handicapped
At this point, he shows us his right hand and HE IS MISSING HIS THUMB!!!
At this point I was fighting the urge to pee my pants so I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I left wondering how he would roll anything with only one thumb? Something to think about.
Ali and I proceeded to go home- of course having a Sing-Along to Rent and Wicked tunes (and randomly "The Promise" by When In Rome.) We did a quick shoppy-shop and made plans to go to Blend later that night.
Chapter Three- Tight Cars, Old Biddies, and Cheese Dogs
We went to New Guy's house and had a few more beers. Ali was oversharing and everyone got along swimmingly. We then decided that it would be safe to pile 6 people into an Infinity G35 and drive 5 miles to the bar- Blend. I hate sitting on people's laps. I don't have small feet. I am not short or small in any way and sitting on laps is always a mess. I had to do it twice that night. Lucky me, lucky me, look at what I'm swimming in, Little Cars. (Ooh, defunct Annie reference. Love it!) Blend was hysterical. I don't think I've seen that many drunk people over the age of 40 since I was at the Headliner in Belmar on a Sunday afternoon with Andrea to pick up her paycheck. Everywhere I looked I saw arms in the air and disregard for rhythm. It was great. Literally one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. Ali celery stalked a kid named Matt- that she incidently called Mark all night. We came back to New Guy's house, made cheese dogs and played football in the house, and passed out.
So needless to say, this weekend was funny. At one point I found New Guy at a table speaking Spanish with people he didn't know as if they were all old friends. At another point Ali threw up over New Guy's deck railing as he made her cheese dogs. He tried to pat her on the back and she said "Stop it." Seriously, it was all too funny. Reminds me of Ali and I in our hey-day right after I graduated from college- except I could find my shoes this time and we weren't in Pennsylvania.
This weekend we are going to AC in honor of Ali's birthday. I love October.
posted by j-digs at 5:39 AM
1 Comments:
Oh girl...that was a capitvating account of our fabulous weekend. I couldn't seem to stop sleeping on couches last weekend though and ended up on my sister's the next night - definitely regressing back to my old ways! SO looking forward to Saturday night!!! :) Btw...have you ever noticed that our craziest nights always end up with a trip through a most ineptly-run drive-thru the next morning? 4 straws? Red teeth? Ham croissants? When will it end?
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