Johnny Canoe
So my canoe trip was this past weekend and I like to thank a few people for attending and making it fun.
1) Todd and Dana- because you are funny and it was fun to watch you set up your ginormous tent in 53 minutes flat.
2) Dan and Susan- because it was fun watching a Loser transform into a winner, Dan, at the Rumy 500 TOC- I am still thoroughly distraught over my loss and I will practice every night until the corners of my cards are worn and frayed. Rumy Victory, you will be mine. Oh yes, you will be mine.
3) That crazy girl Gwen because she got really drunk which reminded me of my friends and then I felt like they were actually there and morphing into her body- especially when she did that Human One Person Wave over and over and over and over and over again.
4) Neil Young for attending and singing "Heart of Gold" just in time to lull everyone to sleep.
5) Rob and Joyce for being the organizers, feeding me dinner, Joyce for your pink hat, Rob for your jive-turkey country music that only you like and your "Daddy Legs."
People I do not want to thank
1) Those "Boob Board" guys because they were WT and weird.
2) That annoying girl that I should have kicked into the fire. She should've burned a little more than her blue shirt, if ya catch my drift.
1) Todd and Dana- because you are funny and it was fun to watch you set up your ginormous tent in 53 minutes flat.
2) Dan and Susan- because it was fun watching a Loser transform into a winner, Dan, at the Rumy 500 TOC- I am still thoroughly distraught over my loss and I will practice every night until the corners of my cards are worn and frayed. Rumy Victory, you will be mine. Oh yes, you will be mine.
3) That crazy girl Gwen because she got really drunk which reminded me of my friends and then I felt like they were actually there and morphing into her body- especially when she did that Human One Person Wave over and over and over and over and over again.
4) Neil Young for attending and singing "Heart of Gold" just in time to lull everyone to sleep.
5) Rob and Joyce for being the organizers, feeding me dinner, Joyce for your pink hat, Rob for your jive-turkey country music that only you like and your "Daddy Legs."
People I do not want to thank
1) Those "Boob Board" guys because they were WT and weird.
2) That annoying girl that I should have kicked into the fire. She should've burned a little more than her blue shirt, if ya catch my drift.
Yeah, little girl, you would scream if I kicked you in the fire. I know...
posted by j-digs at 1:52 PM
3 Comments:
Canoe Canoe??? Who would've thought that it would be so easy to imagine tossing a DEVOUT vegetarian into the fire? I bet you would've made sure she made it really close to the coals. Would you have wrapped her in tin-foil first? If she wasn't being burned well enough, would you have grabbed Mary's BUSTED oven mitts and flipped her over a few times? Totally ignoring the burning fringes on the tip of the mitts? Until someone told you about them? and then, would you BLATANTLY ignore that person's concern and stomp on them, instead of dousing them with water? Oh yes, I've heard many a complaint about our little corn-husk girl. Someone should've grabbed her soapbox, taken a hatchet to it and threw it into the fire with her self-righteous ass! But then again, I don't have an opinion, I'm having a hard time getting off of the fence on this one..........
Again, another reason I heart you TMW... I would like to see if the cows she has been protecting with her vegetarianism (as opposed to Mary's pescetarianism...wtf?) all these years come back to help her while she is burning with her corn/mayo/chili/facacta concoction.
pescetarianism?? what's that? she only eats fish? I think it would be funny to see one of the cows Mule kick her into the flames like something out of Kung-pao!
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