Don't Hate, Instigate
During the course of a conversation this weekend I came to the realization that I am a big time instigator. There have been several examples of my instigation that I can recall, and although I know that a Weekend Blog Session screams Loowho-zeher, there is no Law and Order Marathon on and my laundry is done so basically I have nothing to do until 8 pm when I will be glued to my dear HBO for the evening. Blah blah blah, It's an appropriate time to blog-out.
I tend to have a lot of crazy stories and yet have never really been in big trouble. This is a common thing with Instigators, as you put your impulses on others so that you can actually see the action and not get blamed or harmed in anyway for participating. Here are a few tales.
Instigation #1-
A few NYE's ago, a few friends and I went to KatManDu in beautful waterfront Trenton, NJ. The Kat was decorated with balloons and assorted other NYE paraphenalia and looked better than I'd every seen it on a random Thursday after a few dollar shots. Anywho, I decided that an impromptu Surprise Party was clearly in order for Katie, since it was her actual birthday. I said to Ali, "Hey Ali, get those balloons and give them to Katie!" Sounded like a fun idea. Ali reached up and grabbed and "RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP!" Suddenly everyone was looking at her as if the record stopped and Ali had killed someone. The balloons were duct taped to the ceiling and made the most horrendous noise. I nearly peed my pants. Even better, when we went to the bathroom later that night this woman came up to Ali and said "You are the one who ripped my balloons down. I worked all day to put them up."
Instigation #2-
Another bar in Bergen Cty.- We play this game where we try to imitate a really bad dancer in the bar we are at. Sometimes we get it dead on, sometimes the bad dance is unattainable, but we always try. I see a 40-something woman doing a crazy 80's butt dance. I motion to Ali and tell her "Look, Ali! Do it!" Ali busts out by divine intervention into an exact replication of the 40-year-old woman's butt dance. We all high fived between extreme laughter and congratulated Ali on her accomplishment. Suddenly Ali gets tapped on the shoulder by said woman. "Where you still imitating me dancing?" (She only knew it because Ali was so good.) A fight continued to insue about this Dance Imitation and words were exchanged. Katie calmed everything down with a "We're just trying to have a good time!" and I went and got a beer.
Instigation #3-
I was sitting around the campfire this weekend listening to people play "I Never..." with my brothers, brother's girlfriend, sister-in-law, brother and sister-in-law of sister-in-law and assorted other people who have known me since I was born. I had mentioned a funny story about playing this game in VT this Winter with my fake cousin Marc and finding out things I didn't want to know about him. This was supposed to be a cautionary tale about the sick shit you can find out by playing this tell-all game with close and/or fake family. (I am still scarred by some of the things that were said that night, btw.) Just then everyone thinks this game is a great idea and we start a serious game of "I Never..." Family Edition, I guess. So effin weird. The best part is that "I Never" played this weekend. I simply instigated people drinking, smoking, mixing Vodka and Mike's Hard Lemonade, and telling all their dirty little secrets- while never really divulging one of my own.
So take heed from my three tales here. And remember, it is always better to give someone a gentle nod to do something, than to receive a beat down.
I tend to have a lot of crazy stories and yet have never really been in big trouble. This is a common thing with Instigators, as you put your impulses on others so that you can actually see the action and not get blamed or harmed in anyway for participating. Here are a few tales.
Instigation #1-
A few NYE's ago, a few friends and I went to KatManDu in beautful waterfront Trenton, NJ. The Kat was decorated with balloons and assorted other NYE paraphenalia and looked better than I'd every seen it on a random Thursday after a few dollar shots. Anywho, I decided that an impromptu Surprise Party was clearly in order for Katie, since it was her actual birthday. I said to Ali, "Hey Ali, get those balloons and give them to Katie!" Sounded like a fun idea. Ali reached up and grabbed and "RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP!" Suddenly everyone was looking at her as if the record stopped and Ali had killed someone. The balloons were duct taped to the ceiling and made the most horrendous noise. I nearly peed my pants. Even better, when we went to the bathroom later that night this woman came up to Ali and said "You are the one who ripped my balloons down. I worked all day to put them up."
Instigation #2-
Another bar in Bergen Cty.- We play this game where we try to imitate a really bad dancer in the bar we are at. Sometimes we get it dead on, sometimes the bad dance is unattainable, but we always try. I see a 40-something woman doing a crazy 80's butt dance. I motion to Ali and tell her "Look, Ali! Do it!" Ali busts out by divine intervention into an exact replication of the 40-year-old woman's butt dance. We all high fived between extreme laughter and congratulated Ali on her accomplishment. Suddenly Ali gets tapped on the shoulder by said woman. "Where you still imitating me dancing?" (She only knew it because Ali was so good.) A fight continued to insue about this Dance Imitation and words were exchanged. Katie calmed everything down with a "We're just trying to have a good time!" and I went and got a beer.
Instigation #3-
I was sitting around the campfire this weekend listening to people play "I Never..." with my brothers, brother's girlfriend, sister-in-law, brother and sister-in-law of sister-in-law and assorted other people who have known me since I was born. I had mentioned a funny story about playing this game in VT this Winter with my fake cousin Marc and finding out things I didn't want to know about him. This was supposed to be a cautionary tale about the sick shit you can find out by playing this tell-all game with close and/or fake family. (I am still scarred by some of the things that were said that night, btw.) Just then everyone thinks this game is a great idea and we start a serious game of "I Never..." Family Edition, I guess. So effin weird. The best part is that "I Never" played this weekend. I simply instigated people drinking, smoking, mixing Vodka and Mike's Hard Lemonade, and telling all their dirty little secrets- while never really divulging one of my own.
So take heed from my three tales here. And remember, it is always better to give someone a gentle nod to do something, than to receive a beat down.
posted by j-digs at 2:10 PM
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